Oh My God!! It’s been ages since I have been on here; and I’m so sorry about that…sooo sorry. Oh My God, I’m soo excited to be back cos I feel like I had been on this long roller coaster journey that felt so strange and yet so familiar that you are not sure whether you will make it but you also know for sure that you have to make it. That’s how my being away looks a little bit like. And my God was I rotting away with guilt the whole time because I couldn’t get to spend time here!
What it was is, I started my Master of Arts in Communication and Media Studies at the University of Education, Winneba in August, 2013, of course with MPhil in view…lol… Little did I know that my life was going to change completely and what I had dreamed of for that programme was in fact not it at all. Well, I think it’s safe to say that I have been a pitiful sight for almost a year now…lol. It has not been even a tiny bitty easy; and dear, you have got to believe that I’m not exaggerating one bit. Because I have never lived my life having to fight through countless sleepless nights just to meet impossible deadlines and still have some kind of life outside of academia, until now; and all my friends who have been on the same ride with me would add more if they were here with me right now. The good news, though, is that we are almost done; written exams done (and yes we write sit –in exams…I know, it’s a shock!), some term papers done, the rest of the few still in the pipeline, then the end will come.
Do not be misled though. Coming to read Communication and Media Studies has been one of my best moves yet and in spite of everything I have had to go through, I would still not change it for the world. This programme has turned my world in all directions possible that I feel like in this less than a year, I have grown ten extra set of eyes and brain. Hahaha!! It’s true, really! As for my experiences, I’m sure they will be slipping in in my next million posts.
For now, I want you to know that I’m happy that I decided to learn; that I decided to broaden my horizon and do new things. I want you to know how grateful I am to my parents and my family for supporting me in cash and in all love and kindness to do this. I have said that one of my greatest role models in life has and will always be my mom. She makes me have no reason to fail in life and I love her for it. I want you to know that I’m grateful to my family here who welcomed me in their home to stay and study. I am grateful to my friend, Jane, for cheering me on and wanting me to finish quickly and do something else. I am grateful to the amazing CMS family that I have come to love so much. They are unbelievable!! I want you to know that I’m grateful to you for choosing to hang out with me here and for giving me the opportunity to inspire you.
And to the Almighty God, who has for now, blessed me with all these!!!
It is funny how love goes- that it always finds itself no matter what happens. It’s funny that Mummies always say that “friends always forgive each other.” It’s funny how they say that one never forgets their first love. It’s funny how love will always find a way. But it’s true then that love is strong enough to stand against all odds and defend itself!
I am sitting here in my room, on my study table at 10:38pm; and I can’t help but remember some of the many situations I have gone through and come out of because of the power of love. And for a lady in her twenties, there is only so much that I go through; given that I’m still finding myself and my place in this life.
When I was growing up, people always said that in life friends and family might betray or disappoint you, but bla, bla, bla…” Whenever people said that, I realized that many times they were speaking from experience and their pain was obvious- at least in their eyes. I realized all that but I never could understand why anybody would be hurt because of something that other people did. I couldn’t make sense of their pain and their experiences; and I wished that everyone was like me- get away from the bad guys and go on being happy!
Growing up, I have realized that our tent grows and enlarges with us; and under this tent, our experiences multiply, our qualities get perfected, our vision grows bigger and eventually, we grow to become better or worse people.
My life had been more of a hit- and run kind; except in this case, the one hit would be me and the runner would still be me. Immediately I get hit, I stand up quickly and take to my heels, never looking back. And that is what I did with all the people who came into my life. If you are mean to me, I make sure to never encounter you ever again and in all of this, it was my heart I was trying to protect. Until I grew up.
I have had these episodes where I imagine myself as a soldier in the middle of a fierce battle, with all the flying bullets and bombs and the spilling of blood and shouts and tears; and every single time, I look around me and see soldiers taking their death bullets and bombs. What I do is I hurriedly fall on the ground among the dead, close my eyes, take little bites of breaths, and just wait until fire seizes and the enemies believe absolutely that everyone is dead. I still wait; just lie there and wait until they are gone. That is when I open my eyes, scan around just to be sure, and then, then I sit up, rise up and run for dear life!
Many times I have imagined this and chosen the easiest way on the battle field. Interestingly however, every time in this episode, just around the time I open my eyes to run, I see all my partners lying dead, with the enemy gone; and just me on a lonely desert, with no one to run home with. This is when I realize that in my quest to save my life, I had actually lost it the moment everyone else lost theirs; until I had no one to celebrate mine with.
Since growing up, I have realized that it is worth it to give people other chances because in doing that, you give yourself another chance to be better and greater. My friends have hurt and disappointed. Family have shocked and betrayed me. I have been absolutely mystified to find out that the people you least expect to leave you in the middle of the road are those who do just that. Sometimes, some of our best friendships immediately turn sour and there doesn’t seem to be any reason for it; only that people change and we can’t force them to love us or hate us
Growing up, I have learnt that there is a purpose for everything that happens under the sun. I have seen that the God who runs my life has my best interest at heart and nothing can change that. Since I learnt about the indescribable love of Jesus, I have decided to choose love as well. So that whether family and friends love me or hurt me, I will not stop loving them. After all, Jesus loves me not because I’m perfect, but because He chose me to love me.
I choose love because as much as it is difficult to stick with it, hatred is much more difficult and costly. I choose love because I want to love and be loved. I choose love because at the end of the day, it is my family and my friends with whom I want to celebrate my wins and my seeming not-so-wins.
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I had a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave.
There is a woman who I met during a time in my life, when if I had not met her, I don’t believe that I would be in this place in my life today.
I had just entered my first year in the university, feeling a lot of things all at the same time; shocked, elated, overwhelmed, lost and missing my family terribly. I had not made friends yet and was just now settling down and imagining half the time how amazing it would be if I met someone who could be my best friend. I had two ridiculously hilarious roommates with whom I had bonded on our first night together. Surely, I won’t bombard you with this side of the story. Maybe another time.
On this account, though, here I was, thirsty for a bestselling author which always magnified my moments, any day, any time. Yet, there was a problem. The Lord had started revealing Himself to me and I had started to be aware of this Jesus I had heard of so many times at church and home. More interestingly, He was helping me see the negative influence that my choice of novels were having on my life. And oh it was negative!
At the time, my most preferred novels were Harlequin books. This time, though, I knew the truth and wanted not to go there again because when you had experienced God in the ways that He was letting me, all you wanted was to just do Jesus- if you know what I mean?
Killing my love for reading, though, had become a large burden on my heart because next to my family, the thing I cherished most was reading. And to give it up? (You can’t see but I’m shaking my head right now). Plus I had two or three fat Harlequins stuffed under my things somewhere. This might surprise you but it was my daily struggle; to not run to those books straightaway, grab them one after the other and feed my poor, hungry soul on them.
Then it happened! SRC Week was here and there was going to be an exhibition fair throughout the week. On Friday, I went to the fair and naturally gravitated towards the hundreds and hundreds of books that had been arranged neatly on tables and book stands. That was where and when I met Karen Kingsbury and the amazing ministry that God had called her into-writing.
It was the first book I picked and the first ever Christian fiction I read. When I picked the book, I read the blurb and the piece about the author. I wasn’t so sure. I mean, I did not want to go back to those books that sought to teach me that the foundation of true love, real love was sex, and the last thing I needed was to be led right back into the world I was trying to get behind me.
The book I picked was Rejoice
by Karen Kingsbury and Garry Smalley and words will never describe enough what I found in the pages of that book. All I know is that I seemed to find more and more of Jesus on every page I turned and unless you’ve been there, you cannot completely imagine the world I was, from then on, and always will be, transported into. That night, I heard for the first time, angelic music and angels sang for hours and hours and hours, non-stop. My heart was overflowing with love so strong and so kind and by morning, I was a completely new person. Today, I say to the glory of God, that I was supernaturally delivered of my love for sex-prone novels.
The next day, I skipped my last two lectures and went to the fair. I bought all the books in The Redemption Series and then I bought Fame because they were the only Karen Kingsbury books available.
You see, I had never in my life heard that such a thing as Christian Fiction existed and that night when I found out, I was completely, head over heels in love with this woman who had kind of led me to this discovery, and I was even more in love with Jesus for bringing me to all of this. Because aside from all other reasons, it meant that I didn’t have to give up reading. That was the bestest news ever!!
So it is no coincidence that I say that Karen Kingsbury is my role model of all times. Well, plus my mum and Katherine Khulman and Beth Moore. I just feel extremely blessed that I know these amazing women, even if only through their ministries because they give me hope and I know without a doubt that my God shall perfect that which concerns me.
One of my biggest dreams is to meet at least Karen and Beth since Katherine has gone to be with the Lord and since I have met my mum already. She is incredible! I am sure though that I will meet them someway, someday in a little while.
May God mightily bless you, Karen, for being part of the testimony of my salvation. I don’t imagine that I will ever forget you. I hope that God uses me to be same for many others. Cheers!
God had been speaking to me about loving Him in a way that just means love and nothing but just that- love. I was overwhelmed and in my bid to convince myself that I understood everything, I scribbled a few words that became http://wp.me/p2FWme-4Z ( Our Version of Heaven). When I went home, I lied down on my bed and began to talk to Him in my attempt to explain how I understood this side of love.
Loving God for God
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?… For I am convinced that neither death nor life,neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39
Dear God, this is what I think. I think that from this day on, whenever I say that I love you,I should mean that I love you for you as a Person and not as a God who saved me and has given me eternal life and will do more for me. I want to love you for the fact that love, and in some sense, nature connected my soul with you in the most amazing ways and I realized that I belonged with you. Because, of a truth, that is exactly what happened.I just hadn’t realized it until now.
Because, after all, if I met my husband, I don’t imagine that it would primarily be because of what he did or said or even looked like that would have instituted love between us.But that it would seem that by the Supernatural Force of nature, it is with him that my soul would have found her home, laughter, life and forever. I think that kind of love is universal(whatever that means.The word just came to me.Sorry, we are going to dig deeper to understand this one), bigger and larger than us and life. Maybe by universal, I mean the literal size of how big universal would be. Where else would this come from but you, oh God?
Ii want that kind of love with you. I know that from the start, I might not have come to you on this basis;for I realize now that I came to you because of what you offered and the amazing thing you did for me. But now, I want to love you as a friend loves another because they simply found each other or as a man loves his wife because they simply found home with each other.
I want to love you in a way that is beyond the dictations of this life so that when I’m being struck down by trials and temptations, I would run to you, not because of the rescue you can offer me but because you are the first person I would want to tell and the best person I would want to go through all of this with.
I realize that I am fond of blaming you for my challenges and I don’t want to do that again. For instance, there is this thing that I do, like when I step on a stone with my high-heeled slipper and twist my ankle and then go, “Seriously!?”(with my head raised toward the heavens as if to say…no, because I want to say,”Are you kidding me? If you see and know all things, a little foot direction would have been appreciated? Seriously!”
Oh dear God, considering that this is one of the hundreds of instances,I would like you to know that I am extremely sorry for being so rude all this while. Please forgive me.
I want to love you in such a way that when I’m struck down, the fact that you know it was going to happen will give me hope that you are doing something great and that you are being you. Help me, Lord that I may grow and mature in love with you. Amen
A few days ago, I chanced upon a tweet from @MarkBatterson and it read, “Why is it that we want to spend
ETERNITY with God but don’t spend
time with Him?”
I was like,”Ouch, that hurt” because the words jumped right out of the screen, rolled into a fat blow and hit me so hard in the heart I ran dizzy for a second there. You know when sometimes(and this doesn’t happen so often) you meet a deep truth about something and the weight of that truth seems to transport you into another world where you literally watch a theater performance of your own life? So here we go:
I am standing on this field, football field that has gone bald from overuse;North Pole, South Pole with the grounds full of sand, just a lot of sand with footprints of players from the previous evening and a few stones here and there. I am standing beside the North pole with my head bowed and seemingly praying to God. As I watch myself on the screens, I begin to see in my heart, from this present time here, the untold motive of it towards this prayer. So here I stand asking for strength and might and power and anointing from God in order to successfully live His purpose for my life and I hear myself say,”So that your name may be glorified”. In that same moment, I am rejoicing in my heart and imagining how amazing it’s going to be when God raises me up and everybody stands in awe of me.
Right about now, my heart starts racing from my present me here.
Then I begin to see another scene playing out across the screen. I enter into my former dorm room which I shared with two other friends back from when I was in school.I close the door behind me and get near my bed. Beside my bed, I kneel down, my elbows resting comfortably on the bed and begin to talk to God about a subject so dear to my heart. A little while later, I become silent listening in for God and as always- praise be to God!- He speaks to me in a most amazing way. I listen, hear, understand and almost immediately, rattle a few words of thanksgiving and rush off to the supposedly main highlights of the day. As if I had my life and everything else figured out already!
I saw a few more embarrassing moments as well and then I asked myself, ” Is that what this has been about all this while? Taking what goodies I can get and hitting the road? Why then would I want to go to heaven?” Because heaven is totally going to be about God, not any answer to any prayer and definitely not about fame.
I am still reading The Beginner’s Guide to the Gift of Prophecy by Jack Deere and he has been endlessly talking about humility before God and every paragraph of that message has been resonating with me in the most embarrassing ways! The thing is I had never given a serious thought to what heaven is really, really going to be about. My target was just to finally get there and I would have hit the jackpot. How embarrassing does that sound? Like I was living my life when all of a sudden, some man came to offer a better one that is founded in Him( that appealed to me) and now all I’m after is the offer but not necessarily the one offering. Now maybe everything in life can be played in that manner but not God and it will be a disaster for a person to not know that. So what is your answer to “why is it that we want to spend eternity with God but don’t want to spend time with Him?”
Well,I could go on and on about this issue but the short and long of this whole thought is that if we are not head over heels in love with God here, there is no way we are going to be impressed with heaven. If we find God boring to be with, ETERNITY will be the most boring place we will ever be.
Through out the week and the week-end,I had been hearing from church and friends about taming the tongue and how the words that come from our mouths should glorify God. By 7:30 Saturday morning, I knew for sure that God was trying to warn me, prepare me and encourage me to stay conscious of myself as far as the tongue and words were concerned.
Now why would God want to do that when I was absolutely sure that I wasn’t powering up for any kind of war (with whoever) in the future? As far as I knew, I was good to go for the next forever(if I had the chance to live that long) without quarreling or fighting anyone. Around 7:30 Saturday evening, I was taking a stroll with Abena, my friend and sister when it happened.
I had been angry at a very dear fellow and in my bid to get this thing off my chest, I used a group of words that ended up being more offensive to the Bible(the Word) than to this dear fellow. Immediately the words came out of my mouth, I experienced a sudden hit on my chest that made me feel like someone was literally squeezing my heart.I almost nearly bent over from the pain.And guess what? It wasn’t just the pain- but the embarrassment. Not only that but the huge guilt.
If the Bible said that he who thinks himself standing should be careful that he does not fall, this one right here is it.I was devastated at heart. I was horrified at heart.In that moment, I was at a loss at what I was supposed to do to make the pain go away and also make God forget so i started to want to cry.Immediately, the Holy Spirit hit me again in the chest and at once, the pain was gone and in its place was a desire to confess and ask for forgiveness.I had regretted ever bringing up the subject that led to all this and would have done anything to take it back.By this time, I was on my way to confession, so I immediately confessed and asked God to forgive me what I had done.
In that short time, I was reminded of what God had been telling me throughout the week. I realized that I could have listened carefully and kept the word with me. All this happened in less than two minutes. Glory to God!