How Love Goes

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It is funny how love goes- that it always finds itself no matter what happens. It’s funny that Mummies always say that “friends always forgive each other.” It’s funny how they say that one never forgets their first love. It’s funny how love will always find a way. But it’s true then that love is strong enough to stand against all odds and defend itself!

I am sitting here in my room, on my study table at 10:38pm; and I can’t help but remember some of the many situations I have gone through and come out of because of the power of love. And for a lady in her twenties, there is only so much that I go through; given that I’m still finding myself and my place in this life.

When I was growing up, people always said that in life friends and family might betray or disappoint you, but bla, bla, bla…”  Whenever people said that, I realized that many times they were speaking from experience and their pain was obvious- at least in their eyes. I realized all that but I never could understand why anybody would be hurt because of something that other people did. I couldn’t make sense of their pain and their experiences; and I wished that everyone was like me- get away from the bad guys and go on being happy!

Growing up, I have realized that our tent grows and enlarges with us; and under this tent, our experiences multiply, our qualities get perfected, our vision grows bigger and eventually, we grow to become better or worse people.

My life had been more of a hit- and run kind; except in this case, the one hit would be me and the runner would still be me. Immediately I get hit, I stand up quickly and take to my heels, never looking back. And that is what I did with all the people who came into my life. If you are mean to me, I make sure to never encounter you ever again and in all of this, it was my heart I was trying to protect. Until I grew up.

I have had these episodes where I imagine myself as a soldier in the middle of a fierce battle, with all the flying bullets and bombs and the spilling of blood and shouts and tears; and every single time, I look around me and see soldiers taking their death bullets and bombs. What I do is I hurriedly fall on the ground among the dead, close my eyes, take little bites of breaths, and just wait until fire seizes and the enemies believe absolutely that everyone is dead. I still wait; just lie there and wait until they are gone. That is when I open my eyes, scan around just to be sure, and then, then I sit up, rise up and run for dear life!

Many times I have imagined this and chosen the easiest way on the battle field. Interestingly however, every time in this episode, just around the time I open my eyes to run, I see all my partners lying dead, with the enemy gone; and just me on a lonely desert, with no one to run home with. This is when I realize that in my quest to save my life, I had actually lost it the moment everyone else lost theirs; until I had no one to celebrate mine with.

Since growing up, I have realized that it is worth it to give people other chances because in doing that, you give yourself another chance to be better and greater. My friends have hurt and disappointed. Family have shocked and betrayed me. I have been absolutely mystified to find out that the people you least expect to leave you in the middle of the road are those who do just that. Sometimes, some of our best friendships immediately turn sour and there doesn’t seem to be any reason for it; only that people change and we can’t force them to love us or hate us

Growing up, I have learnt that there is a purpose for everything that happens under the sun. I have seen that the God who runs my life has my best interest at heart and nothing can change that. Since I learnt about the indescribable love of Jesus, I have decided to choose love as well. So that whether family and friends love me or hurt me, I will not stop loving them. After all, Jesus loves me not because I’m perfect, but because He chose me to love me.

I choose love because as much as it is difficult to stick with it, hatred is much more difficult and costly. I choose love because I want to love and be loved. I choose love because at the end of the day, it is my family and my friends with whom I want to celebrate my wins and my seeming not-so-wins.

 

My Supernatural Encounter With Karen Kingsbury

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Thank you for giving to the Lord

I had a life that was changed

Thank you for giving to the Lord

I am so glad you gave.

                                         -Ray Boltz

There is a woman who I met during a time in my life, when if I had not met her, I don’t believe that I would be in this place in my life today.

I had just entered my first year in the university, feeling a lot of things all at the same time; shocked, elated, overwhelmed, lost and missing my family terribly. I had not made friends yet and was just now settling down and imagining half the time how amazing it would be if I met someone who could be my best friend. I had two ridiculously hilarious roommates with whom I had bonded on our first night together. Surely, I won’t bombard you with this side of the story. Maybe another time.

On this account, though, here I was, thirsty for a bestselling author which always magnified my moments, any day, any time. Yet, there was a problem. The Lord had started revealing Himself to me and I had started to be aware of this Jesus I had heard of so many times at church and home. More interestingly, He was helping me see the negative influence that my choice of novels were having on my life. And oh it was negative!

At the time, my most preferred novels were Harlequin books. This time, though, I knew the truth and wanted not to go there again because when you had experienced God in the ways that He was letting me, all you wanted was to just do Jesus- if you know what I mean?

Killing my love for reading, though, had become a large burden on my heart because next to my family, the thing I cherished most was reading. And to give it up? (You can’t see but I’m shaking my head right now). Plus I had two or three fat Harlequins stuffed under my things somewhere. This might surprise you but it was my daily struggle; to not run to those books straightaway, grab them one after the other and feed my poor, hungry soul on them.

Then it happened! SRC Week was here and there was going to be an exhibition fair throughout the week. On Friday, I went to the fair and naturally gravitated towards the hundreds and hundreds of books that had been arranged neatly on tables and book stands. That was where and when I met Karen Kingsbury and the amazing ministry that God had called her into-writing.

It was the first book I picked and the first ever Christian fiction I read. When I picked the book, I read the blurb and the piece about the author. I wasn’t so sure. I mean, I  did not want to go back to those books that  sought to teach me that the foundation of true love, real love was sex, and the last thing I needed was to be led right back into the world I was trying to get behind me.

The book I picked was Rejoice

by Karen Kingsbury and Garry Smalley and words will never describe enough what I found in the pages of that book. All I know is that I seemed to find more and more of Jesus on every page I turned and unless you’ve been there, you cannot completely imagine the world I was, from then on, and always will be, transported into. That night, I heard for the first time, angelic music and angels sang for hours and hours and hours, non-stop. My heart was overflowing with love so strong and so kind and by morning, I was a completely new person. Today, I say to the glory of God, that I was supernaturally delivered of my love for sex-prone novels.

The next day, I skipped my last two lectures and went to the fair. I bought all the books in The Redemption Series and then I bought Fame because they were the only Karen Kingsbury books available.

You see, I had never in my life heard that such a thing as Christian Fiction existed and that night when I found out, I was completely, head over heels in love with this woman who had kind of led me to this discovery, and I was even more in love with Jesus for bringing me to all of this. Because aside from all other reasons, it meant that I didn’t have to give up reading. That was the bestest news ever!!

So it is no coincidence that I say that Karen Kingsbury is my role model of all times. Well, plus my mum and Katherine Khulman and Beth Moore. I just feel extremely blessed that I know these amazing women, even if only through their ministries because they give me hope and I know without a doubt that my God shall perfect that which concerns me.

One of my biggest dreams is to meet at least Karen and Beth since Katherine has gone to be with the Lord and since I have met my mum already. She is incredible! I am sure though that I will meet them someway, someday in a little while.

May God mightily bless you, Karen, for being part of the testimony of my salvation. I don’t imagine that I will ever forget you. I hope that God uses me to be same for many others. Cheers!

Dear Diary-o3/22

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Diary - September 1957

Dear Diary,

God had been speaking to me about loving Him in a way that just means love and nothing but just that- love. I was overwhelmed and in my bid to convince myself that I understood everything, I scribbled a few words that became http://wp.me/p2FWme-4Z ( Our Version of Heaven). When I went home, I lied down on my bed and began to talk to Him in my attempt to explain how I understood this side of love.

Loving God for God

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?… For I am convinced that neither death nor life,neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39

Me:

Dear God, this is what I think. I think that from this day on, whenever I say that I love you,I should mean that I love you for you as a Person and not as a God who saved me and has given me eternal life and will do more for me. I want to love you for the fact that love, and in some sense, nature connected my soul with you in the most amazing ways and I realized that I belonged with you. Because, of a truth, that is exactly what happened.I just hadn’t realized it until now.

Because, after all, if I met my husband, I don’t imagine that it would primarily be because of what he did or said or even looked like that would have instituted love between us.But that it would seem that by the Supernatural Force of nature, it is with him that my soul would have found her home, laughter, life and forever. I think that kind of love is universal(whatever that means.The word just came to me.Sorry, we are going to dig deeper to understand this one), bigger and larger than us and life. Maybe by universal, I mean the literal size of how big universal would be. Where else would this come from but you, oh God?

Ii want that kind of love with you. I know that from the start, I might not have come to you on this basis;for I realize now that I came to you because of what you offered and the amazing thing you did for me. But now, I want to love you as a friend loves another because they simply found each other or as a man loves his wife because they simply found home with each other.

I want to love you in a way that is beyond the dictations of this life so that when I’m being struck down by trials and temptations, I would run to you, not because of the rescue you can offer me but because you are the first person I would want to tell and the best person I would want to go through all of this with.

I realize that I am fond of blaming you for my challenges and I don’t want to do that again. For instance, there is this thing that I do, like when I step on a stone with my high-heeled slipper and twist my ankle and then go, “Seriously!?”(with my head raised toward the heavens as if to say…no, because I want to say,”Are you kidding me? If you see and know all things, a little foot direction would have been appreciated? Seriously!”

Oh dear God, considering that this is one of the hundreds of instances,I would like you to know that I am extremely sorry for being so rude all this while. Please forgive me.

I want to love you in such a way that when I’m struck down, the fact that you know it was going to happen will give me hope that you are doing something great and that you are being you. Help me, Lord that I may grow and mature in love with you. Amen

Our Version of Heaven

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A few days ago, I chanced upon a tweet from @MarkBatterson and it read, “Why is it that we want to spend

ETERNITY with God but don’t spend

time with Him?”

I was like,”Ouch, that hurt” because the words jumped right out of the screen, rolled into a fat blow and hit me so hard in the heart I ran dizzy for a second there. You know when sometimes(and this doesn’t happen so often) you meet a deep truth about something and the weight of that truth seems to transport you into another world where you literally watch a theater performance of your own life? So here we go:

I am standing on this field, football field that has gone bald from overuse;North Pole, South Pole with the grounds full of sand, just a lot of sand with footprints of players from the previous evening and a few stones here and there. I am standing beside the North pole with my head bowed and seemingly praying to God. As I watch myself on the screens, I begin to see in my heart, from this present time here, the untold motive of it towards this prayer. So here I stand asking for strength and might and power and anointing from God in order to successfully live His purpose for my life and I hear myself say,”So that your name may be glorified”. In that same moment, I am rejoicing in my heart and imagining how amazing it’s going to be when God raises me up and everybody stands in awe of me.

Right about now, my heart starts racing from my present me here.

Then I begin to see another scene playing out across the screen. I enter into my former dorm room which I shared with two other friends back from when I was in school.I close the door behind me and get near my bed. Beside my bed, I kneel down, my elbows resting comfortably on the bed and begin to talk to God about a subject so dear to my heart. A little while later, I become silent listening in for God and as always- praise be to God!- He speaks to me in a most amazing way. I listen, hear, understand and almost immediately, rattle a few words of thanksgiving and rush off to the supposedly main highlights of the day. As if I had my life and everything else figured out already!

I saw a few more embarrassing moments as well and then I asked myself, ” Is that what this has been about all this while? Taking what goodies I can get and hitting the road? Why then would I want to go to heaven?” Because heaven is totally going to be about God, not any answer to any prayer and definitely not about fame.

I am still reading The Beginner’s Guide to the Gift of Prophecy by Jack Deere and he has been endlessly talking about humility before God and every paragraph of that message has been resonating with me in the most embarrassing ways! The thing is I had never given a serious thought to what heaven is really, really going to be about. My target was just to finally get there and I would have hit the jackpot. How embarrassing does that sound? Like I was living my life when all of a sudden, some man came to offer a better one that is founded in Him( that appealed to me) and now all I’m after is the offer but not necessarily the one offering. Now maybe everything in life can be played in that manner but not God and it will be a disaster for a person to not know that. So what is your answer to “why is it that we want to spend eternity with God but don’t want to spend time with Him?”

Well,I could go on and on about this issue but the short and long of this whole thought is that if we are not head over heels in love with God here, there is no way we are going to be impressed with heaven. If we find God boring to be with, ETERNITY will be the most boring place we will ever be.

 

Dear Diary

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Dear Diary,

Through out the week and the week-end,I had been hearing from church and friends about taming the tongue and how the words that come from our mouths should glorify God. By 7:30 Saturday morning, I knew for sure that God was trying to warn me, prepare me and encourage me to stay conscious of myself as far as the tongue and words were concerned.

Now why would God want to do that when I was absolutely sure that I wasn’t powering up for any kind of war (with whoever) in the future? As far as I knew, I was good to go for the next forever(if I had the chance to live that long) without quarreling or fighting anyone. Around 7:30 Saturday evening, I was taking a stroll with Abena, my friend and sister when it happened.

I had been angry at a very dear fellow and in my bid to get this thing off my chest, I used a group of words that ended up being more offensive to the Bible(the Word) than to this dear fellow. Immediately the words came out of my mouth, I experienced a sudden hit on my chest that made me feel like someone was literally squeezing my heart.I almost nearly bent over from the pain.And guess what? It wasn’t just the pain- but the embarrassment. Not only that but the huge guilt.

If the Bible said that he who thinks himself standing should be careful that he does not fall, this one right here is it.I was devastated at heart. I was horrified at heart.In that moment, I was at a loss at what I was supposed to do to make the pain go away and also make God forget so i started to want to cry.Immediately, the Holy Spirit hit me again in the chest and at once, the pain was gone and in its place was a desire to confess and ask for forgiveness.I had regretted ever bringing up the subject that led to all this and would have done anything to take it back.By this time, I was on my way to confession, so I immediately confessed and asked God to forgive me what I had done.

In that short time, I was reminded of what God had been telling me throughout the week. I realized that I could have listened carefully and kept the word with me. All this happened in less than two minutes. Glory to God!

- Moi.

English: Derivative work. Original image was t...

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IS THE RACE REALLY NOT TO THE SWIFT?

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 I have recently moved away from home and so during

Independence Day, I went home to Mama.

I entered my dusty-looking room and found a dusty

folded foolscap. This is what was written on it:

I was watching a season of One Tree Hill which started with ‘four Years Later’. Nathan Scott had watched his dream come to an end with one stupid mistake and was now living a life of misery and pain and regret and pity. Brooke Davis was a designer with her own multi-million clothing company. She had become a celebrity and Paparazzi followed her 24/7. Lucas Scott was back in Tree Hill and was struggling to write his second book which was taking him two years and beyond to do. Payton Sawyer had become an assistant to the assistant of the president of a major record label in New York City. She was accorded no respect at all and meanwhile, worked her ass off in hopes of a better someday. Marvin McFadden was still living with his friends, unemployed, after graduating from college.

You see, these groups of people were friends who had graduated the same year from High School and gone off either to college or to chase their dreams. Today, it seemed that some had more than enough to show for these past four years and yet others seemed to have nothing or, probably, very little.

I watch them and I completely understand the kind of message they want to carry across the screens. Sometimes, I lie awake on my bed with my eyes closed, not wanting to get up from bed because if I did I would have woken up to nothing(Mind you, I know God and I absolutely love Him, yet, it seems that sometimes, life has a way of making you forget all that). I see my friends, everyday making it in life, being busy with work and family, owning their own rides and starting their own building projects and I realize that this is actually our time and I seem to be missing out on it all. Trust me, it makes you have nightmares about you remaining the same while the world moves on. It makes you want to hide yourself from your friends and sometimes, family and it definitely makes your feel like a loser. Because when you have spent a lifetime dreaming about what you want to become, planning how you are going to make it happen, it becomes hard when you realize that dreaming and planning are not enough. It becomes more difficult when you have prayed to your God and received confirmation that your dreams are on the right track and yet the whole world seems to be leaving you behind.

I know that life is not fair sometimes, but I also don’t remember anyone promising us a fair life. I remember days when I would wake up with a really nagging headache, a churning stomach and wondering what day of what week of what month it was and whether I finally had somewhere I had to be in the next 30 minutes. And whether I just might have forgotten an important appointment and needed to remind myself.

“Time and chance happen to them all”. Of late, I find myself constantly reciting this verse in my mind. A verse, I used not to believe in because I used to substitute ‘luck’ with ‘chance’ and thought that life couldn’t be about luck because if it was, then it wouldn’t be true that God had our whole lives planned in the palm of his hands. If it was luck, then it wasn’t planned. A while ago, I decided to look up the words ‘luck’ and chance and this is basically what I gathered:

luck’ is the thing or things that happen(s) to you in the moment or at a period when you have not planned for them to happen. And ‘chance’ is the moment or period that comes your way or happens in which something good happens to you without you necessarily planning or working for it. Therefore, chance is that moment while luck is that thing. I imagine therefore that the reason we might mention luck or chance is because His ways are not our ways, neither are His thoughts our thoughts.

A long time ago, someone told me that luck comes from the devil. I don’t think that every luck comes from the devil because if that were the case, then chance would also come from the devil. I believe that both words were instituted by God. However, sometimes, the devil, being who he is uses both happenings for his own selfish means. Hence, it happens that not every luck and chance comes from the devil. But then again, the reverse of the case is also true.

Last month, I was informed of the death of a dear friend of mine. He had apparently been taken ill and was taking a few days off work and had unfortunately died during one of those days. He and I had sat in the same lecture theaters over a year ago. We had all completed the university and worked as Service Persons in the same company. He had been taken on and was still working after our service term had ended. He was a great guy with obviously great plans except that last month he was here and today, he isn’t. When I heard the news, I thought to myself “He that had his certificate and a job that paid better than half the companies in the world?” (I had encountered a little problem with my certificate and hadn’t received it by then, so I barely had anything to boast of). Even so, I was to learn after sometime that certificates and trophies are not what pave a way for us in life.

I had been greatly saddened by the death of my friend and I grieved for days. I just couldn’t understand and bridge the gap between his death and my life but then, Bible says that what has light got to do with darkness, right? Some say that death is a mystery but I say that life is even the bigger mystery.

I know that we have no control of time, and that we definitely do not make time happen to ourselves but I believe that what we can do as time goes on is to have patience. In the same way, the thing that we can do is be prepared until the moment when chance comes knocking at our door.

The most precious gift we will ever have is life, not our jobs, not our wealth, not our families but life. Yet the thing that completes this life is how we choose to celebrate it.

Take it from me that if you have ever had a dream in which the world had passed away and you were left behind with nothing but regrets and what ifs and an impending doom doomer than the one you were already in, you would know that life, no matter the circumstance is worth celebrating. So when it looks like you are left behind, know that the glory of the latter house shall be greater than the former. That no matter where life takes you or does not take you, there is a God who does all the molding and unmolding, the folding and the unfolding and so if your scroll has no yet been unfolded, God is molding you to become more and more fine.

Tough Love. Wow, Isn’t That Tough?

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English: Tough love Severely pollarded beech t...

I have come to realize that family is one of the most important gifts we have now and will, for most of our lives, have. The thing is when you are around them, you do not see to appreciate them the way you are supposed to until you come to a point where you don’t have them at arm’s length. When they are around us, their wanting to know and suggest and direct almost seems like the total loss of our privacy and our independence. Until you are away from them and come to realize that all those “in our business stuff” rolled into one word is called love. So maybe we should try to appreciate family a lot more than we sometimes care to do.

Family is important to God. He created it before He created the church and, as with each of His creations, He made a plan for it to succeed. At the heart of that plan is love. To be part of a family is to be loved. Many times, what happens is that the love that we receive from our family doesn’t seem like what we would have expected, but Honey, that’s Tough Love and sometimes tough love is all we need. We need tough love to realize that we are supposed to feel uncomfortable in the place where we are. We need tough love to determine to go through that storm that is marked out for us on our way to that place where we have to be.

We need tough love to want nothing else except to press on painfully toward that goal, take hold of it, and finally put everyone to shame and get all the bunch of them off of our backs! The truth is when you have finally succeeded, the best people you would want to celebrate with is your family and in the end, we never get any farther away from them than we were in the beginning. Because God never put them in our lives so that we could live our lives without them but we were created as a family to need and want one another.

Family is hard work.I mean isn’t it hard work to love so fiercely in order to sometimes have to seemingly be the worst enemy of the one you love? And isn’t it equally as hard to go through a season of tears caused by the ones who make you laugh? It is hard work.

I am, in no way, referring to abusive families or friends. If your family is abusing you, I suggest that you get help because in a case like this one, your family will also need the help. Abuse is never one of the functions of the family.

After all is said and done, we should know that our God looks forward to the greatest family reunion of all time, stretching across all of eternity. So are you going to be there? And what about your family?

The Things U Do

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English: Scroll of the Book of Proverbs

English: Scroll of the Book of Proverbs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Cover of "Remember (Redemption Series, Bo...

Cover of Remember (Redemption Series, Book 2)

Fa w’a kwan hyε Yehowa nsa

 Na fa wo ho to ne so

 Na ɔno na ɔbε yε

 Na ɔno na ɔbε yε

Father used to sing this beautiful, beautiful song at every one of our morning devotions.”           – Moi

For those of you who have not yet been to my country, Ghana, this is a direct translation of the text in Proverbs 3:5-6, made into a song in the Twi Language. It reads:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

And lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways, acknowledge Him

And He will make your paths straight”

A while back, I took my planner and scribbled this down with some emphasis on ‘used to’ because at the time I wrote this, my family and I had not had another morning devotion in more than ten years. And I’m not exaggerating! Up till now, I have no idea how this thought popped into my head. It must have been the physical realization of many years of mentally missing one of the great family moments that wasn’t just fun but also very spiritually fulfilling and physically, and psychologically assuring. Maybe, it is that because I loved it, I would have

Cover of "Family (Firstborn Series-Baxter...

Cover via Amazon

wanted to have it again and again and always in my life.

One of the things that most breaks my heart is to see a family break up – through divorce, through death, war, and anything else that breaks a family up. I love patterns and I love tradition. I don’t always like change because change always feels like an end to comfort and familiarity. Change brings on some amount of discomfort, at least, until I get to understand it and know why it is necessary. Yet, don’t be fooled because I am also an avid rule breaker and I have no idea how these two stay together in one person.

Growing up, I have come to appreciate the stability of the home in which I grew and I believe that if families were able to maintain the good foundations on which lives are built, more people than we have would grow up better and become better people. Back to the ‘morning devotion’ story, I gotta tell you that I do not remember a single of the messages that were shared, but I vividly remember where Daddy always sat in the living room passionately singing this song. I remember how with his eyes tightly shut and his head slightly tilted up, he would sing out the words of the song as if our lives depended on them. I remember how from time to time, he would open his eyes to make sure that we were all getting as involved as he was, and that is how I know that I will never forget ‘Daddy’s song”.

Remembering this recently got me thinking how the ‘little hitches’ in families affect other lads and the families themselves. I have realized that families are like relationships and so in the beginning, people do the best things to their lovers and seem to stop doing them in the future.

Today, I want to remind families about how much the little things everyone does for everyone is appreciated. I want to encourage families, especially Mummies and Daddies to remember to not stop dropping those tiny ‘red roses’ that remind us every day that we are still loved and thought of and cared for.  Trust me, it is almost all a child needs – all a person needs to want to hope for a brighter future worth toiling for. I always wonder how better our family would have gotten if we had continued having these special morning devotions.

Today, if there are families out there who still observe special family moments; whether Family Devotions or Story Time, or Sundays Special, Family Vacations or Family Meetings, I encourage you to not stop doing these things. You will never be able to imagine the long lasting impact these things have on everyone involved.

I love Karen Kingsbury’s books because she portrays families who cherish and appreciate one another no matter what and who will not miss family dinners and weekends and holidays for the world. I love her Christian fictions because the stories are sermons, in themselves, only more dramatic and ongoing. You can find her right here, www.karenkingsbury.com.

I think that families should have their very own special traditions and customs because

  1. These things keep both the parents and the children in check.
  2. They ground us all in many ways than we can count.
  3. They also make us consider everyone else too.
  4. I think families should have their traditions and customs because they are the priceless things that we will forever love about our families and ourselves.

I am not saying that when the time comes for a change, it should not be made. Changes will many times be necessary and so they should by all means be made. But I have also said that these traditions and customs help us learn to consider everyone else too.

In my next post, I shall explore with you some of the family traditions families look forward to. So for now, it is my prayer that families will be restored to that place where God means for them to be. Share your thoughts, tweet, like or email this post if you loved it and it will be my pleasure to have you visit me again.

           So follow me on twitter @GraceGod86 if you would like to visit me like now.

Cheers!!!

Teach Us to Number Our Days

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“And I said, “I want to write, I want to pray, I want to plan. I want to do all the things that matter in my life. And many times, I want to know- I want to know what is to come, I want to know what is right and what is necessary. I want to know what is important. I want to understand what I see and hear (from God). I want peace and love all around me. I want life to be simple…but life is so much more than what is simple. If I could give you anything you wanted and I asked you, what would you say?”

- Anonymous              

I love this scene in Mbongeni Ngema’s 1992 film Sarafina! in which Sarafina, the character played by Leleti Khumalo, visits the home of Mary Masembuko, her History teacher played by Whoopi Goldberg. Sarafina wants to know what she can do in the fight for justice in apartheid South Africa. Mary Mesembuko explains that the answer to that question lies in Sarafina determining what she wants. Having no formulated response, Sarafina puts the question back to her teacher and asks: “What do you want, Mistress?” Masembuko replies:

“Me? I want many things. I want the war to be over. I want the hate to be over. I want my Joe back in my arms. I want quiet days and loving nights. I want babies. I want to come home to kindness.”

I figure she wasn’t done with the list but she realized that if she had these things for herself, life would just be as right as can be. I first watched this film in 1993 when I was not more than six years old and I was enchanted by Sarafina’s undaunted courage and love for her beloved country. Sarafina was not my only enchantment. Whoopi Goldberg remained in my fantasy until I chanced upon her in Sister’s Act many years after and I said, “She has changed.” Never mind my comment. I was just a kid then and I had fixed her in the Sarafina bottle for so long I didn’t know how to let her out. But now, I can say that, again, as always, she was outstanding!

Nevertheless, the question, “What do you want?” has remained, lurking on the lawns of my mind’s backyard for as long as I have heard it. And as I grew, the question grew with me and at every stage of my life, my answers must have been different. Life’s wants are so many, the list is endless. I have grown, though, to learn that life’s needs are quite a few. Sometimes our lives are so messed up that we hardly know the clear-cut difference between the things that we want and the things that we need.

‘What do you want?’ has helped me to take a breather at every point in my life and run my life through the mirror to see what is up and what is down. It has allowed me to catch my breath and set and reset my priorities right and make sure that I am still going after what I want. Oh, because there have been distractions and blockages. Too many of them, trust me.

I have always loved (as I’m sure most you have) what is good, lovely, amazing, beautiful and right and so much more. So this question guided me through my days of wanting to know this man called Jesus and through my moments of accepting Him as my Wonderful Savior and ridiculously Amazing Friend. Immediately the Lord revealed Himself to me, I knew I wanted Him. And more than that I needed Him and He has taught me the difference between my needs and my wants and it has been quite a ride. I gotta tell you that I’m so not there yet but I look forward to a time when the Spirit Himself shall bear witness to my spirit that I do not struggle knowing the mind of God and accepting it.

I want so many, many, many things out of life. I want the best husband ever; I want to raise a family that will be an example to all. I want all the things that will make my life a comfortable one. I want everyone, including me, to know Jesus and to love Him in the ways that He loves us.

The truth is what I love, I want, except that not everything I love is right for me. For example, I love movies and everyone who loves movies knows that movies take up your prayer and Bible study times. When I was going to go to school, I knew what I wanted to do and have so I named my choice and tried to force it down God’s throat. Guess what? It didn’t work. So God took me to the school He WANTED FOR ME and Oh guess what for the second time? I found Jesus my first semester in the school I never wanted in first place.

I can mention too many testimonies about what my wants didn’t do for me and what God’s wants for me did for me. I can sense you saying, “But you never even got to try out on the things you wanted for yourself?” Oh you have no idea. I can count the number of times, I hesitantly accepted what God wanted for me and these have become the greatest spotlights of my life. My wants? Again, you have no idea!

Since I learnt that I could not make it out there on my own, I have tried to tailor my many wants along the netting of God’s fabric of wants for me. I would love to be able to say one day that I have fought the good fight, and so I long to fight with Jesus who leads against the foe. If you are not fighting your fight with Jesus, I fear that you might be fighting in the dark and I wonder if the dark has any glorious end for anyone at all.

What I want to tell you is that it is comforting and fulfilling and enough to know that someone bigger than life has your back in this life. So as for me, for now, I want all the things that God wants for me. And of course, plus most of the things that I want for myself. I told you I wasn’t there yet. So, what do you want? Share with me your thoughts, please, and it will be my pleasure to have you follow me on twitter @GraceGod86

                  Teach us to number our days that we may gain a  heart of wisdom Psalm 90:12

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