It is funny how love goes- that it always finds itself no matter what happens. It’s funny that Mummies always say that “friends always forgive each other.” It’s funny how they say that one never forgets their first love. It’s funny how love will always find a way. But it’s true then that love is strong enough to stand against all odds and defend itself!
I am sitting here in my room, on my study table at 10:38pm; and I can’t help but remember some of the many situations I have gone through and come out of because of the power of love. And for a lady in her twenties, there is only so much that I go through; given that I’m still finding myself and my place in this life.
When I was growing up, people always said that in life friends and family might betray or disappoint you, but bla, bla, bla…” Whenever people said that, I realized that many times they were speaking from experience and their pain was obvious- at least in their eyes. I realized all that but I never could understand why anybody would be hurt because of something that other people did. I couldn’t make sense of their pain and their experiences; and I wished that everyone was like me- get away from the bad guys and go on being happy!
Growing up, I have realized that our tent grows and enlarges with us; and under this tent, our experiences multiply, our qualities get perfected, our vision grows bigger and eventually, we grow to become better or worse people.
My life had been more of a hit- and run kind; except in this case, the one hit would be me and the runner would still be me. Immediately I get hit, I stand up quickly and take to my heels, never looking back. And that is what I did with all the people who came into my life. If you are mean to me, I make sure to never encounter you ever again and in all of this, it was my heart I was trying to protect. Until I grew up.
I have had these episodes where I imagine myself as a soldier in the middle of a fierce battle, with all the flying bullets and bombs and the spilling of blood and shouts and tears; and every single time, I look around me and see soldiers taking their death bullets and bombs. What I do is I hurriedly fall on the ground among the dead, close my eyes, take little bites of breaths, and just wait until fire seizes and the enemies believe absolutely that everyone is dead. I still wait; just lie there and wait until they are gone. That is when I open my eyes, scan around just to be sure, and then, then I sit up, rise up and run for dear life!
Many times I have imagined this and chosen the easiest way on the battle field. Interestingly however, every time in this episode, just around the time I open my eyes to run, I see all my partners lying dead, with the enemy gone; and just me on a lonely desert, with no one to run home with. This is when I realize that in my quest to save my life, I had actually lost it the moment everyone else lost theirs; until I had no one to celebrate mine with.
Since growing up, I have realized that it is worth it to give people other chances because in doing that, you give yourself another chance to be better and greater. My friends have hurt and disappointed. Family have shocked and betrayed me. I have been absolutely mystified to find out that the people you least expect to leave you in the middle of the road are those who do just that. Sometimes, some of our best friendships immediately turn sour and there doesn’t seem to be any reason for it; only that people change and we can’t force them to love us or hate us
Growing up, I have learnt that there is a purpose for everything that happens under the sun. I have seen that the God who runs my life has my best interest at heart and nothing can change that. Since I learnt about the indescribable love of Jesus, I have decided to choose love as well. So that whether family and friends love me or hurt me, I will not stop loving them. After all, Jesus loves me not because I’m perfect, but because He chose me to love me.
I choose love because as much as it is difficult to stick with it, hatred is much more difficult and costly. I choose love because I want to love and be loved. I choose love because at the end of the day, it is my family and my friends with whom I want to celebrate my wins and my seeming not-so-wins.